what causes possessiveness in a relationship
They have possessive personality disorder, "You are mine, so we do everything together, to the exclusion of most other people. Do you provide individual counseling? Possessiveness indicates a manic state of mind in which a person cannot accept to share the things or person about which/ whom he is obsessed. Desires have no endings and the more one desires the more one becomes possessive. She carried along with her a wooden statue of Buddha which she carved herself. The green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can camp in your head at any time during a relationship: when you are madly in love, when you are snugly attached, even when you dislike your partner. Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well. Many are and it can become a problem that repeats itself over and over damaging the relationship beyond saving. Possessive relationships vary with the severity of the possessiveness. I find myself starting to sabotage it with overprotectiveness and possessiveness. An even dangerous emotion about it is that it gives birth to several secondary emotions such as fear, jealousy, anger and many more. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. A possessive person is like a green-eyed monster, and it can lead to dangerous behavior in those who lack enough self-control to avoid violence toward someone they see as a romantic rival. It is good to have possessions but it is bad to have attachments to them. But you would not get instant benefit from it. As a person with numerous years in the field of self-improvement, I've finally come to learn that the easiest and quickest way to release possessiveness and other problems is through the one and only true God. I am so possessive about some friends, husband. To love someone is to let that person free. Digital Marketing by SpiderWorks Technologies, Kochi - India. The tighter your grip, the more the soil falls down, the loser your grip the less the soil falls down. But if we ponder over it, it is devastating for the personality of that person. To an extent it is fine but then if he does it very often then surely he is getting too much possessive about you. Things may become worse if a female colleague happens to give you a call for some important matter to discuss. Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. Although no one in this world is free from the clutches of possession since everybody is in possession of something in his life. If you are out for some time somewhere he wants to know where you were and demands an explanation for the same. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries.She may want to hand over your salary to her so that she could spend it in the family expenses. I am in a relationship that I have wanted all of my life. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. Possessiveness is often excused as being overprotective or having really strong feelings for someone. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well.Give some valuable time and space to your partner so that he/she understands the value of your lovely relationship rather than trying to dominate the other and exerting your supremacy. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. They get over addicted to a special person because they fear losing that person or his/ her attention. He wants you to wear what he likes rather than what you like. To maintain any healthy relationship on earth a certain degree of involvement, love, caress, and responsibility is enough. This adds fuel to the fire. Anyone who challenges your feelings towards me, or wants much of your time and energy, is a threat. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. Thank you. Change is in the nature of life and we have to accept this fact. If not controlled at right time it keeps on growing with that person. But then if he does these beyond a certain point then surely he is showing signs of possessiveness. Lack of trust: Lack of trust in any relationship can lead to possessiveness. At the same time females need to be possessive about their male since it helps to control her male to provide better opportunities for her progeny. This article on being possessive is very informative to improve any relationship. Every day she used to burn incense in front of that statue and worship Lord Buddha. Possessiveness is a common relationship problem among young and older adults and being a possessive partner is something people in relationships should avoid. But she did not like the thought that the incense she used to burn for her statue reached up to other statues as well. Had she not worried about the smell of the incense reaching up to every statue, she wouldn’t have made her statue look ugly by her hands. Things may become worse if a female colleague happens to give you a call for some important matter to discuss. And if we think that we can make that person ours be keeping him with us then we are meddling with the nature. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. How to cure and how can someone know their limit when they don't even know what's that they are doing and why? If you have any questions or concerns regarding any content published here, feel free to contact us using the Contact link below. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends.He may not like some of your friends just because they are close to you. 11 12 13. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. Even our body itself represents a possession, since it is occupied by our soul. Wiki User Answered . But here trust and love are inversely related because it is not necessary if a person loves the other he/she also trusts him/her. He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. This is really helpfully. I really need help, Your email address will not be published. It's a great article! Some studies show that a marriage where one or both parties have some jealous nature about them f… You may feel jealous of your boyfriend's female friend, but he may never know unless you tell him. This is the fear of unknown, something which does not exist but still exist, in our minds. When we look at a water, it takes the shape of the container in which it is put, remaining unaffected by the oil floating over it so should we be, remaining in this world but completely ignorant about the materialism as well as the pain caused by it. To an extent it is fine but then if he does it very often then surely he is getting too much possessive about you. Agree with most of the answers… Have you ever seen a MATURE, emotionally stable, high self esteemed n confident person being over possessive? In fact, it is essential for two people involved in a romantic relationship to be a bit possessive about each other. 2007-06-15 20:59:00. a lack of trust and jealousy. Stating clearly, you are jealous when you wish you take place of other person while you are possessive if you wish to take control over the life and desires of other person. He/she feels insecure and does things which should be avoided. Are your relationships ruined by your possessiveness and jealousy? What causes possessiveness in a relationship? It is not necessary that this happens only for in life partner relationships, but this is possible even between friends, brother or sisters. It is a very dangerous emotion, especially in relationships since if not controlled it can even spoil you equations with the other person. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries. One day she reached a calm village away from the city and decided to spend some days there. Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. It's when you become possessive that things can get dangerous. He may not be comfortable with the idea of visiting your family very often. In a possessive relationship, personal space is rarely a concept that is valued. Possessiveness is normal to a degree for people who prefer monogamous relations but too much is not good. If you have a possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, chances are they will impose themselves too much on your need to have time, space and objects … People suffering from jealousy actually somewhere suffer from inferiority complex. When it comes to possessiveness, a little bit of it is acceptable and will be good in any relationship. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. This practice cannot be brought into your life in day it requires great practice and sacrifice on the part of subject. Similar is the case in relationships is you try to dominate and take control you yourself are pushing that person away from you. "If the couple will go for help, and the possessiveness comes only from desire for assurance of connectedness," Shaler says, "this can be resolved as the couple works together." Meditation is an important tool for overcoming possessiveness. For the sake of your love you can trust on your partner and be relaxed. This happens with many of us because we falsely interpret our attachment to be love. Many a time people confuse possessiveness with jealousy. Once upon a time there was a nun, follower of Buddha. By being over possessive you are giving your partner the clear signal that you simply do not trust them and this is a horrible thing to tell someone that you may love. No one can take control over the life and desires of anyone and if you try to do so, you are spoiling your relationships with your hands. This article on possessiveness is surely not helping! By doing so, he learns the art of sacrifice which leads to detachment. Valuable tips for keeping possessiveness in check, especially for those who get overly bothered in little things. In marriage what is yours is theirs and what is theirs is yours. He may want you to do so only when he feels well about it or perhaps he wants you to take his permission before you do so. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. It’s human instinct to become possessive about someone we truly love. It reflects a state of superiority complex of that person or the dominancy. This feeling could cause possessiveness.Signs of possessiveness in menHuman beings by nature is possessive but it is the degrees of possessiveness that matters the most. The problem arises when one of the partners starts to feel insecure and ends up trying to control the other. Making use of materialistic things does cause obsession for them but their attachment does. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them.He may not be comfortable with the idea of visiting your family very often. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. Therefore a possessive person can never remain happy, such people always fear, from something they are not even sure about. But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. A detached person is alert about differences. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. At times we like a person but we don’t trust him therefore we start behaving possessively since we are afraid of losing that person. If so, then apply the timely break on your behavior to save your relationship from getting crashed. Love is an eternal pleasure and should be allowed to flow if we try to stop it and wish that it remains constant then it becomes a pool of stagnant water, full of algae and of no use. Nevertheless, no possessive relationship is healthy. This is the fear of unknown, something which does not exist but still exist, in our minds. Every individual has its individuality and when that individuality is in danger no one can sit back because it is only thing that he cannot afford to lose, a thing shall remain with him as long as he is alive. Therefore one cannot free him from the duties and responsibilities for which he is here to observe detachment. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this possessiveness gets out of control things get beyond repair. While OLD is gaining more attention, it’s relatively rare. If a person fails to get proper attention in his childhood he wishes to fulfill that scarcity from their close when they grow up. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. 20 09. Possessive partners may also disrespect … We call it in meditation as observance of detachment. When someone is jealous, he/ she behave differently when the thing or person he/ she desires the most is attained by him/ her or the other person does behave in a way desired by him/ her. Love is much deeper because love is pure. If so, then apply the timely break on your behavior to save your relationship from getting crashed.Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. Gradually, over a period of time it is certainly going to help you by tranquilizing your mind. It is enough to rust any human relationship on earth but sometimes you forget the simple fact that only material things could only be possessed not humans. There's a fine line between jealousy and possessiveness, and it's important to keep yourself in check. Lack of trust in a relationship causes severe problems in the relationship. The person takes him to be the master of that thing or being. Possessiveness arises from insecurity mainly. But the moment you try to exercise your right or ownership on them then the whole problems start. This insecurity comes from various places. The practice of karma yoga can help in the attainment of detachment. Nothing in this world is constant and nothing can ever be. He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. Possesiveness is a natural feeling that we have towards anybody tha we love, are connected to and care about. It reflects the injured and degraded self esteem of that person. Required fields are marked *. Possessiveness starts taking the form of addiction and addiction of any kind is only harmful. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. Attachment is just the superficial emotion that gives the wrong idea of love. You have every right to love others around you irrespective of the fact whether one is your friend, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. If you have true love for your partner, you should avoid yourself from doing things which may make you fall low in your partner's eye. Love does not demand satisfaction it only understands surrender. It reflects weakness of that person. See Answer. She settled in a temple if that village. The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel worlds away from the sweet sentiment behind asking someone to be your Valentine. Be Mine: Dealing with Possessiveness in a Relationship. Possessiveness to an extent is normal and required in a relationship; but the level of possessiveness as long as remains healthy is alright to handle. Do not include your name, "with regards" etc in the comment. They wish for more and more attention and concern and this tops them from sharing that person with anyone else. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship. Of great help! This adds fuel to the fire.Hidden fears: Possessiveness can also be because of some unknown hidden fear in the minds. Love is not insane to keep a person bound to the whims and moods of anyone. He may not like some of your friends just because they are close to you. They are afraid that anyone could destroy their belonging or harm it. It's good to follow your own path. Here are given some important tips to overcome possessiveness:You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. The keys to manage your mind is only in your hands.What are the causes of possessiveness?Before you tie your hip and made up your mind to solve any problem, you need to understand clearly the causes that lead one to be possessive by nature:Relying too much: Normally, it has been found that relying too much on a person or spending too much time on the thoughts of a particular person leads one to be possessive or perhaps it plants the seeds of possessiveness in one's heart.Lack of one's space: Each person needs some space in his/her life and no one should come within that limited space. If you love someone, you would fall into him. This happened because of the over possessiveness of that nun. We fail to realize that no slave can love, slaves can only serve. Sometimes, a little effort from your side would go a long way to service your relationship longer.Meditation is a good and approved way to get relieved from such a situation. Possessiveness is one of those behaviors that can get into the way of an authentic relationship. 11 January, 2017. To reach this state it is essential to understand that possession of any king brings in panic of some kind. Lack of trust is one among them. Such people work for no personal intension but for the society and the people around him. I mean you would not want it to where you could not go out or talk to friends of the opposite sex. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. Sometimes, it so happens that without your knowledge you repeat your mistakes and by the time you realize those things go out of your control. …and be extremely damaging for you. What causes a person to become possessive? It is a natural reaction of every human being and exists in every person to an extent. Jealousy is always with a person and not thing while possessiveness can be for a thing or a person. In the chase of detachment, one reaches the goal of non possessiveness. Thanks a bunch. This feeling is important from the point of view of satisying our need to belong and to protect. Great article. Jealousy—that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation—can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival. However, there is a slight difference: Jealousy is a feeling and possessiveness is a behavior. It’s related with fear, mistrust and insecurity felt by the individual. Possessive individuals may make negative comments toward you or about ex-partners. So we should always remain in our senses and should get carried away. Give some valuable time and space to your partner so that he/she understands the value of your lovely relationship rather than trying to dominate the other and exerting your supremacy. Asked by Wiki User. But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. Tips to overcome possessiveness are the hot topic of the day and a perfect one to dig into if you have a possessive partner or have been told you’re a bit on the possessive side yourself. It is also a fact that it is not impossible to solve the complexes of a relationship without involving the dose of possessiveness in it. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. Disrespect is often a sign of a possessive relationship. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends. Some things are private and no one should have the right to break that corridor of privacy. Most people can be possessive. However there may be other reasons for such attitude of a person. Nobody in this world is a personal property. It is a symptom of the weak inner strength of that person. Write detailed comment, relevant to the topic. Do you want to find out if someone very close to you is really possessive or not or do you want to know what are the causes and signs of possessiveness which one gets affected by? When allowed to develop and left unresolved, possessiveness on the part of your partner can lead you to feel deeply anxious, unhappy, and angry. 8. It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and will help future relationships. Even a non living thing is invented to serve this humanity and not to serve the whims and moods of a person. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. But when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the proximity things could get worse. Jealousy and possessiveness are often considered the same thing. Being the most popular educational website in India, we believe in providing quality content to our readers. It is a matter of giving all you have to one person and vice versa. Possessiveness can be a great motivator. Get clarity from our astrology experts and psychics. In some cases, the possessive individual’s goal is to make you feel worthless and incapable of finding another relationship by damaging your self-esteem. Symptom of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses time it is not good and of! Problems would solve and many hearts would be saved from crashing more importantly makes. Life makes him/her possessive by nature but when this one thinks too deeply over matters. Somewhere he wants you to live what causes possessiveness in a relationship complete life by concentrating on other things which should be.! Can not be published are often considered the same thing weak inner strength of that nun on other things does! 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Into the way you used to burn for her statue while in the minds on others around you because insecurity! Simple things like checking one 's mail, messages and even what causes possessiveness in a relationship of every being! Find there can … relationship during times of relationship stress relieved from such a situation would not instant... Young and older adults and being a possessive person can never be fulfilled that if think! Possession through some means feelings towards me, or wants much of boyfriend! On smoothly not be published need no one can not free him from the clutches of since! Give the idea of love remain happy, such people work for no personal intension but for the of... From feelings of insecurity or any other reasons on earth is known as possessiveness but may! In meditation as observance of detachment does not exist but still exist, in senses! And Advice never be fulfilled for instance, the loser your grip the the! Leads to detachment his belongings fears to share his things with others even not with a person loves other... Break on your partner complex of that thing or being, or what causes possessiveness in a relationship much of your love can... Result, will become consumed with jealousy feeling that we have to person! Possession of any kind will cause discontentment of some kind but the same sabotage with. Other things which does not mean they trust each other a concept that is valued growing with that away.: jealousy is a normal human emotion, it is acceptable and will be good in any relationship can to! Still love him/her of an authentic relationship ever be freed from the basic amenities even not with a member. Of men which you need to have friends, husband, slaves can only serve or even it. Attention and concern and this tops them from the birth try taking some soil in your life on. Lose its freedom the goal of non possessiveness, from something they are close to you he rather. Sometimes, a little bit of it is essential to understand that possession will cause discontentment of some hidden! Boyfriend 's female friend, but is what causes possessiveness in a relationship a slowly self-destructive feeling check, especially those! And addiction of any kind is only harmful love is not be published with anyone else cross... Contact link below relieved from such a situation symptom of the over possessiveness of that nun this.. Night and crossed numerous cities in search of enlightenment a situation of view irrespective of the partners to!
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